Bill Clinton's "Testimony" . . .  by Dr. Seuss

                 I did not do it in a car
                 I did not do it in a bar
                 I did not do it in the dark
                 I did not do it in the park
                 I did not do it on a date
                 I did not ever masterbate
                 I did not do it at a dance
                 I did not do it in her pants
                 I did not get beyond first base
                 I did not do it in her face
                 I never did it in a bed
                 If you think that, you've been misled
                 I did not do it with a groan
                 I did not do it on the phone
                 I did not cause her dress to stain
                 I never boinked Saddam Hussein
                 I did not do it with a whip
                 I never fondled Linda Tripp
                 I never acted really silly
                 With volunteers like Kathleen Willey
                 There was one time, with Margaret Thatcher
                 I chased her 'round, but could not catch her
                 No kinky stuff, not on your life
                 I wouldn't, even with my wife
                 And Gennifer Flowers' tale of woes
                 Was paid for by my right-wing foes
                 And Paula Jones, and those State Troopers
                 Are just a bunch of party poopers
                 I did not ask my friends to lie
                 I did not hang them out to dry
                 I did not do it last November
                 But if I did, I don't remember
                 I did not do it in the hall
                 I could have, but I don't recall
                 I never did it in my study
                 I never did it with my dog, Buddy
                 I never did it to Sox, the cat
                 I might have-once-with Arafat
                 I never did it in a hurry
                 I never groped Ms. Betty Currie
                 There was no sex at Arlington
                 There was no sex on Air Force One
                 I might have copped a little feel
                 And then endeavored to conceal
                 But never did these things so lewd
                 At least, not ever in the nude
                 These things to which I have confessed
                 They do not count, if we stayed dressed
                 It never happened with a cigar
                 I never dated Mrs. Starr
                 I did not know this little sin
                 Would be retold on  CNN
                 I broke some rules my Mama taught me
                 I tried to hide, but now you've caught me
                 But I implore, I do beseech
                 Do not condemn, do not impeach
                 I might have got a little tail
                 But never, never did I inhale