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Echelon Creative Writing Contest

Spy in the Sky

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Every hour, two million electronic communications are intercepted and checked by government computers. These are the Email, FAX, telephone and cell phone messages of regular U.S. citizens who are being spied upon by our government. The Echelon system works by locating key words in a message, and if found, saving the entire message for processing by some bureaucrat. Below are the creative writings of those who used those key words in their non-threatening communications. Want to give it a try? Click on Add Your Entry above and have at it.

Related Echelon Article

Here are the entries that have been submitted so far:



Art Bell, when still on the air, said that he would get a visit from men in black each time after an anonymous caller would predict an assasination attempt on the president of the United States. He also spoke of news on his worldwide, such as deals with racist, terrorist Arab Palestinians and Jordanians weilding 7.62x39 AK-47 rifles with 30-round mags and 90-round drums, while the Israeli secret service dispatched their hate with guns such as the .223 M-16 and 9mm pistols. Huge explosions from bombs secretly planted threaten to drive the country into civil war. There is no official Militia there, but the citizens have armed collectives, and Jews commonly walk the streets with fully-automatic 'assault' weapons. The Israelis make the CAT-9 semi-auto handgun, which is different from the TEK-9. Some states banned the TEK-9 becaused it 'looked evil' and was used by gang-bangers (both bloods and cryps) and drug runners. It could take high-capacity magazines, but is not a machine gun. I think it's also partly because it looks like an UZI or sub-machinegun. It's BATF legal, though, with no folding stock and pre-ban ('crime bill' of 1992 by the Klinton administration).

A bug chewed through my white power cord while I shot it with a deadly chemical attack which attacks the central nervous system. I was afraid that it then would chew through my black power cords. Though not as deadly as anthrax, the warning on the label on the bug bomb threatens that it is, technically, nerve gas. The local NRA shooting range stopped using such volatile compounds, but the nearby militia headquarters still sets booby traps for these inferior insects, which infested vermin must be wiped out. The left-wingers think they're Nazis or members of the KKK or white supremacists, when in fact they are the opposite of fascists, and profess faith in the Constitution and Bill of Rights, simply recognizing the importance of the Second Amendment. Freedom is not as valued with followers of Hitler -- their idealogy is not weighed down by such logic and loyalty. Rather, theirs is to a dictator, similar to the media, running propoganda which scares people into surrenduring all freedom in the name of a litte temporary security and safety. Indeed, fascism is little more than a perfect breed of socialism, and both current American news reporters and Nazis are left-wing, not right-wing [conservative]. The agenda of the biased left-wing media is to make us believe that fascists are to be found in the far-right or Christians, when actually they're found in their home camp [typically agnostic or atheists, especially among the extremists and radicals]. After all, slavery was something the Democrats wanted to do. The Republicans fought the War of Northern Aggression against the southerners supposedly to end it. What's immoral about a little socialism or totalitarianism? Big Brother keeps us safe and gives us stuff.

The Clinton Chronicles video out of Hemet, CA document CIA and other government black-ops drug smuggling and shipment through Mena, Arkansas, where Bill Clinton and his brother were addicted to cocaine and very experienced with marijuana. Heroin was also imported. Hillary laundered the drug money through an organization which supposedly gave money to churches and schools for books, while innocent witnesses to the drug drops were murdered, as the justice system was being ruled by the very killers. Clinton became governor through the help of the owner of Tyson Foods, fellow criminal. Many of those crooked politicians were put into power in Washington, D.C. through efforts in the White House and the Clinton Aministration. Janet Reno, with her famous socialist/communist jack-booted thug armed intrusions, has blocked justice from all sides. I used to think she was appointed by Clinton because she is evidently homosexual (gay), or so that he could say that he appointed the first 'female' Attorney General, while I consistently allege she is a hermaphrodite, or perhaps a psychological humanist nature/nurture experiment from the 60s gone wrong after a botched circumcision.

Either way, Echelon surveillance is a sensitive topic, and a spy system the New World Order/ United Nations is surely interested in hijacking. One homes UKUSA will surrender their dictatorship of information flow to the people, not to fellow comrades.


Dey Trak Mee
USA -


Well, another bomb full of gore assaulted my special 12th birthday group (aka 47 high school kids shot the party dead). I'll be attacking the classified ads for any insider information about whitewater trips. It's too bad about the nuclear family that proliferated cyber junk into the third world Olympics. What do you think of servers who smuggle presidential Cuban cigars? I hope to get a better constitution with silicon security briefs. Don't mail any packages to an anonymous PO box in Montana, or Chelsea Massachusetts (it's a real town). My kids' top secret for the week is to dress up and spook their nerd friends who hack virtual data from the Colorado schools' satellite computer labs. Our nation hasn't legislated true gum machine control. How I hate to eat Spam without a generous investment of beef stock from the market before all 747 of my jumbo shrimp crash into the pot. Did you hear the one on the internet about Sir Edmund Hillary opening the pearly Gates for Bill after all his Micro Soft ice cream parlors went belly up? It would be suicide to attempt to con- Vince the White House to send a new tax bill North to foster better foreign travel relations. The parks all across Washington need better surveillance. The entire democratic process requires another operation with revolutionary new drugs designed not to kill all intelligence. We'll conquer any new frontier, be it by land, sea, air, or space based laser pointers!
john
USA -
love sex governtment bomb foot ball motorcycle sex love pizza homecoming. Tractor car coloumbine mississippi. FBI bomb threat blow up cocaine meth. Prison break For mumia. Black Power.
White power. Love is dying of cance.

yoyoma fungi
USA -
Hi Mom,

I sure hope you get this email. I'm at school. I'm in the computer lab. In case Dad hasn't already told you, there was a BOMB scare today at the NUCLEAR LAB, so he's gonna pick me up after school. He tried to call you, but you were on the computer. We're going to the Home Depot to buy some FERTILIZER on our way home. Please remind Jimmy to clean my AK-47 like he promised. I need it for my shooting match tomorrow, and I don't have time to clean it tonight because I have a date with Tim. You know, TIM MCVEIGH, the boy from OKLAHOMA CITY.

Guess what? I learned some pretty cool stuff in History today. Stuff about the American REVOLUTION. You know, stuff about the Battle of Lexington on APRIL 19, 1775 and how the MILITIA kicked some British ass on their way back to Boston, and all that stuff. Kinda cool! Anyhow, it should only take us about an hour to get the FERTILIZER.

Love,
Laura

Scott Vines <ucdzbt@aol.com>
Campbell, CA USA -
Hey Steve,
Since your time is running out, here's what you gotta do: Your first two Delta Force guys (the ones with the M16s), hit the door with flashbangs. This should disorient the terrorists guarding the door with their AK47s. Then set off the C4 and rush the rest of your SOG force inside. Kill all the assault rifle-toting militiamen.
That should end the level and then you can move on to level two in the "Rainbow 6" videogame. Good luck!

PS. Have you played Pacman 2000 yet?

Bill Donohue <bdonohue@imaginemedia.com>
Brisbane, ca USA -
Today my fellow comrades, marks the start of the New World Order in which the GOP (Gun Oppressed People) will be assonated by the Well Regulated Militia, which is now maintained by the proper and clandestine government agencies. As you know the GOP is the worldwide listing compiled from all registered gun owners and those suspected of possibly owning an unregistered gun or those that we suspect may sympathize with those that believe in second amendment rights in the USA. Once we have NUKED (Neutralized, Unarmed, Kidnapped and Enslaved all Dissenters) the major cities and population centers in the USA will fall and so too the rest of the world will fall like dominos in a line. They will be as dirt under our jackbooted, neo-Nazi, fascist socialist feet marching forward arm in arm toward total world domination.

Also, those NRA (Nasty Religious Anarchists) will be marched in Echelon formation to the offices of the local GRU (Government Re-Education Units) for the ICBM (Intense Concurrent Brainwashing Maintenance) that they so richly deserve.
We are certain that after the ICBM programming is completed on all NRA members the target goal of total annihilation of Religious Zealotry will be in place.
This will have the effect of destroying all anti-Semitic ideologies, because if there are no religions then there can be no anti-religions, so to say.
But, my comrades we must be ever vigilant for the other much hated GRU units (Godly Religious Underground) for they and their MERV (Multiple Evangelical Religious Views) could be as deadly to our plans as an Anti-Ballistic Missile to an InterContinental Ballistic Missile. Be sure, comrades, that to this particular poison there can be no antitoxin, no antidote, we will have no choice in the matter but to bomb their enclaves whenever we find them.
Our operatives in the Clintonista camp suggest that we first draw these extremists out by feigning anti-abortion rallies and then infiltrating these clandestine groups with NSA, CIA BATF and FBI operatives. Then after discovering their bases of operations stage Waco and Ruby Ridge type operations. Using the media to brainwash the unsuspecting populous into believing that religious freedom is bad and government execution and assignation of persons without due process in a court of law is good. I for one feel that the Clinton’s idea is unimpeachable, however, perhaps more violence is called for and the bombing is a better idea.
Comrades, once our covert insurgent agents have done their work we will dismantle the United States Legislative and Judicial branches of government and establish the unicameral government that population that has survived the NUKE attack (Neutralization, Unarming, Kidnappings and Enslavement) sponsored by the GRU (Government Re-Education Units) after ICBM (Intense Concurrent Brainwashing Maintenance) programming will want, NO that they demand! We will, comrades, through our program of insurrection and agent provocateurs initiated terrorism, prevail and install upon the throne of the New Communist World Monocracy our King!
King Bubba Clinton and his princess Monica. King Bubba’s first act as world dictator will be to banish the evil witch Hillary to the realm of UNSCOM (Unwashed National Scumbag Community Of Malignancy) formerly known as Arkansas forbidding her to ever leave unless and ONLY unless on a raft of copious construction designed for use upon the Whitewater river and then only to see the Rose Law Firm Billing Records Officer or to visit her Foster child Vince or her and Vince Foster’s illegitimate child Chelsea (Oh now I’ve done it)
This letter is a parody intended to incite a laugh riot, not a race riot or to steer up bigotry, hatred, unrest or civil disobedience. I am not advocating violence of any type, wife beating, domestic violence, pedophilia hemophilia, homophobia or political correctness.
This letter is intended to offend only the people it offends to whom I say, “Sic Simper Tyrannous” same as John Wilks Booth screamed as he jumped to the stage of Ford’s theater, from the balcony where he had just assonated the President of the United States Of America, Abraham Lincoln on April 14, 1865 but the President Of The United States will not die until April 15, 1865 at 07:22 in the morning (got anything to do with Tax day? Oh Yea, they’ll tell you NO but I tell you it is a conspiracy! Well that’s your history lesson for today.
OK, before the New World Order is established, (and I do plan to usurp King Bubba and instill the mummified body of Emperor Norton of San Francisco on the throne of the New World Communist Monocracy but keep princess Monica, as Emperor Norton has personally expressed an intense liking for her, especially in her presidential DNA covered blue dress), please have the aliens from outer space come and abduct me, have Scotty beam me up, have the MIB come get me, before I further kill the English language, before I run-on another billions and billions of sentences and to appease the Steven King and the CIA killed John Lennon guy (No I am not him, nor am I the Walrus) but I could be if I wanted to be.
I must say (and this is secret code so pay attention) I got blisters on my fingers and I can’t type no more. I am not insane just crazy, please help I am being held here against my will. Quiet! They are coming… I got to go now time for my lithium. They’re coming to take me away He He They’re coming to take me away Ho Ho Chi Minh :-}
Oh yea kids don’t forget selling or using heron, cocaine, morphine, crack is not legal so don’t do it unless U2 are employed at the local Wackenhut pharmacy.
Double Speaking of music my favorite Beatles songs are Blackbird and I am kind of (not Jane) Fonda of Revolution. But Hootie and the Blowfish are one of my favorite nuclear basement bands that will not put on any Armani suits they carry their instruments in cool black-bags and never go fast over speedbumps. And another good thing is that if you have correct Information Security, encryption that is you can download, only on Secure Internet Connections, MP3 songs and do not be fooled MP3 will not be overthrown by new but the much inferior MP5K-SD encryption standard, because to use it you would need a credit card sized supercomputer and it would need a plutonium power supply.
On my vacation I am taking my pet guppy, her name is Iris, to Reno to see my Aunt Janet then to Templeton for a halibut dinner.
Oh yes this you must know I had a job in Scotland once and I know my boss told me but I had to ask where might my Lockerbee?
Hey do we get College credit for this?

Anonymous Davidian <cyberpunk@pornstars.nato.com>
Waco, TX USA -
Dear Paul,

Word of the invasion by governement troops has just been received. Your mission is to call out the militia before they come to confiscate our guns and ammunition. You'll need a pretty good pony (PGP) plus excellent night vision. You'll receive your orders by means of a 2 bit binary message, transmitted via a photonic emission from an exothermic reaction of petroleum like liquid. A code of 01 means the troops will be arriving by land, a code of 11 will signify a naval assault. Our militia will have to employee special forces tactics as the troops come marching down the road. It looks the time for revolution is at hand.

As an aside, the special operations group in Philadelphia is busy working on a new Constitution. Some are also arguing about a Bill of Rights.

Our Cherokee terrorist assault on the harbor and the destruction of a critical mass of biological agents was successful. I pray that your mission will be successful as well.

George W.

Logan R. Zintsmaster <lrahnz@garlic.com>
Morgan Hill, CA USA -
*Spookville*
With Apologies To Dr.Seuss
(But Not To The NSA)

You pesky, sneaky NSA;
You've really gone really just too far today.
This Echelon business is fanning the fire
Of my righteous, indignant, patriotic ire.

I'm really not happy with sharing my stuff
With you; I've really, really had quite enough.
So here we go; I hope THIS stuff
will make you cry, "This stuff is ENOUGH!"

I really like my DETcord and my SEMTEX,
and hacking and snooping 'til government code breaks.
Hypothetically speaking, of course, to be sure,
but your computers won't know it's a hook and a lure.

Encryption that's hard, codes that are sneaky,
I and my friends will spam 'til you're creaky.
E-mail bombs, virus, and all that's unkind
will keep coming your way, until you unwind.

Get out of my hard drive, my phone, and my face,
stop sticking your back doors all over the place.
My stuff is MY stuff, you silly lame spooks,
GO BACK HOME TO SPOOKVILLE, you malevolent kooks!

Kilos of anthrax, and stuff that's quite rasty,
gallons of Sarin that's stinky and nasty.
Plutonium glowing, and you're never quite certain
if it 'tis but a game...or whether it's "curtains".

We'll fill up your hard drives with much useless crap,
with Cypherpunks helping, it should be a snap.
Dead Cow Cultists hacking all over the place,
you'll whine, and decrypt 'til you're blue in the face.

Now that you're huffing and puffing, with faces of blue,
haven't you got something BETTER to do?

Ter The Terrible <itachi@earthlink.net>
San Francisco, CA USA -
Steve Case, or Bubba the Love Sponge, as his friends at INFOSEC called
him, pulled his RX-7 into the parking lot of the Rail Gun Bar & Grill on
the outskits of Waihopai, Panama. This was no clandestine meeting,
Steve was just looking to get bombed.

The last time he was here was back in 1984 before he had joined Delta
Force. Things had changed. Then, he and his hacker buddies used to
spend hours talkning of Computer Terrorism, Firewalls, Secure Internet
Connections, Passwords, Encryption, SSL, & PGP.

Now, the place was full of Porn stars huddled together in tiny booths.
Over in a dark corner sat Gray Data and Alica Goodwin. The pair passed a
Blowpipe between them. Bubba looked around and thought what a field day
Janet Reno would have with this garbage. He wondered about his old
frineds, The Colonel, Yobie, Sardine, Yukon, Templeton, Cohiba, Becker,
Nerd, Cowboy & Blackbird. Did they ever take that job with Wackenhutt?

Bubba took a seat at the bar, ordered a Whitewater Fizz, drank it
quickly and stepped back outside. There was nothing for him here.
Tomrrow morning he would board a KLH 747,777, 767, 737 or 707 and head
for his new office at 2600 Magazine, Waco, TX.

Ruby Ridge
USA -
As Sunshine Fettkeather approaches Area 51 in cult infamy, Ruby Ridge, Unabomber, Militia, Waco, Hillary, Guns, Butter, Columbine, Cchelsea, Missile, Bill, Clinton, Terror, White, experiment, anthrax, kill, infrastructure, Black, Police, VAT, NO, strike, FBI, heart, attack, tyrant, Filegate, patriot, CIA, blood, NSA, revolution, GMT, pot, DEA, fertilizer, BATF, Monica, Whitwater, Iran-Contra, Commie, Star Wars, Vince Foster, wound, maim, rape, release, shoot, pillage, proletariat, freedom, covert, posse, oppress, and struggle, are words which, in toto, may, in the view of spooks and snoops, constitute a threat which could justifiably provoke a flying blast of an explosive government-wide response! Would they then be members of the Falatulent Earth Ssociety, or is this just plane crazy?
Lafayettepete
Lafayette, CA USA -
My mother finally airmailed that bomb to my brother, the Senator. She said that it is like an automatic weapon against those bugs in the basement and will kill them all within three or four days. Anything that flies will get 'bombed', she said, which will probably leave little bodies all over the basement. I know the bureaucrats are against using these silent chemical attacks, even on bugs, but the position of the stupid Jusitice Departmnet bureaucrats in the Federal Government is way out of line on this matter. We still have some liberty in this country, and I am sure the Constitution will allow us to kill all of those creepy critters we can.
Forest Glen Durland <forest@uhuh.com>
USA -
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